Handling Teachers’ Emotions as an Instructional Coach

 Coaching & Emotion

Teachers have emotions, too.

I want to remind all the instructional coaches out there that if a teacher is not receptive, or is expressing an emotion that feels misguided, you must remember that they are human and are dealing with many different aspects of life. Do not take it personally, and you can even be a safe space for teachers who are struggling. Sometimes instructional coaching can feel lonely, but there are things you can do to handle your emotions as well as the emotions of others.

What to look for in this post:
  • Teachers’ emotions are usually NOT about you
  • What to do when a teacher gets upset
  • The loneliness factor as an instructional coach

If you prefer to hear me talk through this, here is are two videos featuring all of this content:




Teachers’ Emotions are Usually NOT About You

As an instructional coach, meetings with teachers do not always go as planned. Sometimes you are going to get the brunt of issues that a teacher has, even when it has nothing to do with you. It can be easy for you to get upset in those situations as well, but I encourage you to be mindful of everything teachers are going through.


What to Do When a Teacher Gets Upset

When I am meeting with a teacher who gets emotional, I choose to see it as an honor that they trust me as a safe space. They feel like they can share their anger, frustration, or other feelings with me. Teachers are human beings who live full lives, and they are going through things that we cannot imagine. Let’s embrace that, and support teachers as best we can.

Support teachers in whatever is within your control and with whatever SKILLS you have.

The Loneliness Factor as an Instructional Coach

Being a source of support for others is an important part of being an instructional coach, but it can also get lonely. When I first started coaching, I went to a brand new school and I did not know any of the teachers. I had to get to know people and build relationships at that point.

Even if you are in a school where you have been for years, however, your relationships change because people no longer see you as a teacher. You don’t want people to see you as an administrator, so you’re kind of in a “no man’s land”. You may not have those teacher friends you can talk to about what you experience as an instructional coach.

If you are finding yourself feeling lonely as an instructional coach, make sure you find somebody you can reach out to. For me, I am very fortunate because I work in a district with several other instructional coaches. I have support if and when I need it. If you do not have that, I encourage you to find your people elsewhere. Maybe you can seek out a Facebook group online, or find a good blog to plug into. Feel free to read through my posts, or check out my YouTube channel or TikTok.

Don’t let loneliness get you down. Start building relationships, and seek out whatever it is that you need.


Check out these related posts:
Building Trust with Teams as an Instructional Coach
How to Build Relationships with Teachers as an Instructional Coach
Tips for Difficult or Uncomfortable Instructional Coaching Conversations with Teachers

Check out these related YouTube videos:
Building Trust with Instructional Coaches
Use Your Planner to Strengthen Relationships with Teachers
Tips for Uncomfortable Instructional Coaching Conversations

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